who stole my music? give it back you pricks!

What a week for rock and roll. Where do I start? Oh yeah, with Kiss appearing on Scooby Doo! Yep, that’s right… my daughter is hooked on the old hound dog sleuth and last weekend’s episode featured the masked misfits singing “shout It Out Loud” while the ghost of some old fart wandered around (it was a Halloween episode) and Paul got to crack some “give us the money” type jokes. Fuck that! When I was a mere stribling, back in 75/76 which made me all of maybe 13 or 14 I first heard “Rock And Roll All nite” and I was blown away. I didn’t know then that the make up was the big gimmick, that it never came off, that they had this enormous stage show – I just saw the film clip and went what the fuck is that? I rushed out and bought Kiss Alive on the strength of that one song. That’s right – double album on vinyl, gatefold sleeve, old Casablanca logo… we had to drive up to Mt Gambier, some thirty miles up and thirty back to get it and then my mother went to a friend’s house for coffee!!! And all I wanted to do was get home and throw that fucking album on! That was when I first realised that there was more to them than just the songs, that they had the images, the spaceman, the cat, the lover, the demon… but first came the songs… fuck me, Strutter, Deuce, She, Cold Gin… and my fave, even better then rnr all nite was Let Me Go Rock’n’Roll.
I flogged that song to death… that was the fucking anthem for me… this was the band for me. And let me tell you, forget about the megabuck machine they are now, forget about the two aging egomaniacs who refuse to let the band die, forget all that shit… back in 76, being a Kiss fan in a country town in South Australia instantly alienated you. We were few but we were strong. We believed in that band, we believed that they believed in us too – fuck were we wrong! They just wanted our money, they didn’t give a fuck about the “fans” in the end, just the moolah. So I guess I shouldna been surprised to see them as a cartoon band on a cartoon show about a defective detective dog but it still hurt.
Then much to my surprise, the Rolling Stones appear on Days of our Lives (don’t even go there). Talk about crossover merch… the band actually popped up a coupla months back with some single being played exclusively on the show in a very lame tv clip sequence that had nothing to do with the episode and now they have a concert scene in LA and some of the characters win tickets to go see them! (Apparently everyone on Days is a Stones fan) Who decided that this was the audience they wanted to reach? What a weird arse piece of marketing… hey, Mick, Keith, we reckon appearing on this soapie will really boost ticket sales! Huh? Oh, and they suck live too.Then to top the week off, we had the finale to Rockstar Supernova. Now I know I shouldn’t even be watching this shit but hey, I did, I was hooked I admit it. That houseband can play damn near any song on the fucking planet in any style and make it sound good. So to me it was like watching a damn good covers band without the smoke and obnoxious cunt in front of you waving his mobile phone. Though it has to be said that considering we had guys from Guns N Roses, Metallica and Motley Crue to impress, the song selections were remarkably lame at times… I mean Radiohead, Verve, Coldplay… where the fuck was the metal?! And then the band go and pick the fucking muppet punk Lukas. You woulda thought that Gabby, sorry Gibby and Tommy would know about getting a fucking frontman… they would know that you need more than a windup punk kit with a voice like a fucked up vacuum cleaner… but then what the hell, its all presold anyway… the concert tickets were selling out before they announced the winner so what do they care. And just as an aside, how “live” and “unplanned” was the winner anyway? I mean Magni gets eliminated just half hour before and then Lukas brings him out to play with Supernova! He just happened to be standing around backstage with an acoustic guitar to play with the band just half an hour after being eliminated?! Surely if the final four all thought they had a chance at the title they weren’t rehearsing to be playing as fucking back up were they? Kinda suss to me… but hell, we’re talking about reality tv here so why am I even bothering. Still, this week has left a nasty taste in my mouth… I used to love rock and roll – I’m old enough to remember when punk was a legitimate statement, a movement, a moment… music used to be something we fucking talked about for days – we saw the film clip on the weekend and then we had to wait another 7 days, sometimes longer… it was magic, it was enthralling, the radio was full of surprises… I’d go into the record shop and flick through the new releases maybe once a month, there wasn’t this bombardment of actors/sluts/ singers/dickheads… we had to hunt for things, find the songs, wait for the magazines to mention some minor detail and try and fit all the pieces together… it meant something so amazing… now its all marketing, demographics and you’re bombarded with it! Fuck, sex pistols and clash dvds are now in the cheap bins… who coulda thought that in 76? Who would expected that? The shit I copped for listening to Birthday Party, Motorhead, Ruts, Pistols, Angelic Upstarts… now everyone is revered and repackaged (except maybe the Upstarts…poor buggers)… when will I see nick cave on Scooby Doo or Hi5 – it can’t be far off can it? Lemmy on sunrise or johnny rotten doing cabaret at newtown rsl. Shit, you can even get countdown shirts at kmart now (as well as pistols and clash knock offs). Those fuckers have stolen my youth and I want it back!!!!!!!!